Measurements for my Soul

"And the man said unto me, Son of man , behold with thine eyes, and hear with thine ears, and SET THINE HEART UPON ALL THAT I SHEW THEE;  for to the intent that I might shew them unto thee art thou brought hither: declare all that thou seest to the house of Israel." Ezekiel 40:4

 So this morning I opened my Bible to the book of Ezekiel. I started reading at verse 28 and read through the next couple chapters. When I turned back to the beginning to re-read it... my eyes fell on verse 4.  The words SET THINE HEART just leapt off the page at me. I started thinking about what I had read and how could verses upon verses of descriptive measurements apply to my life? What can my spirit gleam from Measurements? Is is just me or is it hard to feel encouraged or inspired by a bunch of measurements. I thought, " Lord, What do you want me to see in this? What am I supposed to get out of a bunch of measurements?" Then I backed up a little farther in the chapter and read from the beginning of the chapter. Slowly I started to understand what God was telling me...

The other night I was preparing to take my bath and feeling a little overwhelmed by life's circumstances and silently begging God to help me and to make a way.  And I suddenly felt so guilty for asking... I realized that it's hard to ask God for help and really have faith that He will do something when you, yourself, fell like you don't deserve it. I realized that an obstacle in my life right now has been the fact that I don't feel like I deserve or have earned God's blessings. I feel like I have been a terrible friend... A big fat brat....self-centered and selfish. I realized that I would ask God frequently for help...but it seems like when I would pray that's all I would do... "God fix this... God fix that! God I don't know what I'm gonna do. God I need your help! God I need this...God I need that..HELP ME! HELP ME! HELP ME!"

That's probably what most of my prayers sounded like. As I thought about this.. I was like... Poor Jesus... having to put up with me. He must feel awfully used... and I know what that feels like.. and it isn't a good feeling. It hurts when you love someone and do things to try to make them happy and make their life easier... but then as soon as they get what they want that don't talk to you or want to spend time with you. It hurts when you love someone and feel like their only motive for being around you is for personal gain.  And knowing how this feels... I was doing the same thing to God.  Talking to Him when I need something.. but not talking to Him just because I love him. I was overlooking a BIG part. I was being fair-weather and fickle. Two things that in my human relationships I cringe at and hope that I am never that way. Why, then? Did I treat my Savior this way? The only One who truly deserves everything. I was giving nothing. Well.. I was giving Him lots of requests.  Realizing this just made me so ashamed. And I made a decision  I was going to change things. I want to have a different relationship with God than ever before. No more Leesha sitting on Santa God's knee... I told Jesus.." Lord, your blessings are amazing...I don't deserve them... But Lord... I want you to know I want YOU and not just your blessings. If you never bless me again Lord... I still want you to be my friend. Because I want you to be my friend because I love you.. not because what you can give me. From now on, I will focus on just talking to you instead of asking you for things. If you choose to bless me I will receive it with an open heart, but if you choose not to.. still I will love you no less. I have done nothing to be worth or deserve your love, but just your love and friendship is enough." Since then I have been consciously avoiding asking God for things.. instead when a worry comes up.. I whisper to Him, " Thou Knowest."

      This Ah-ha moment has led me to start thinking of my relationship with God in a different way... a new territory... How do I build a relationship with God. When I can't see Him? Where do I start? Then.. this morning I read Ezekiel. And I started getting an idea of where to start. God was trying to show me some measurements for my soul. Some measurements for me to build a inner court in my heart and life for Him to come and commune with me. As I read the chapters of measurements I was thinking... Why Lord? Why would you take time to include all of these measurements and such in your Word? I started to notice things about the measurements and descriptions  Each measurement was precise and for a certain pupose. Each table and chamber was for something different and had a specific service to offer. Once was for washing the burnt offering, one was for trespass offering, one was where they slew their sacrifices, one chamber was for the singers... AH-HA! a chamber for the singers. A chamber for praise. All of this was to prepare to go into the inner chamber, the place where the priests could approach the most Holy of Holies.  It all started to connect for me.... My relationship with God needs to have certain things for it to be mutual. I needed to learn to praise him not because I felt like it was a step in the process for getting in His presence just so I could ask for something... but to praise Him... just because I love Him.. Just because He is who HE is. Just because HE Loves me. For His Grace... For His Kindness, His mercy. Just because I enjoy feeling His presence. I think that so many times we are going through the motions with a motive for wanting something from God... But most of the time the thing we want isn't just to be with God... and just to spend time with Him because we Love His presence. I realize that part of showing God that I want a relationship with Him, requires me to do different things. Prepare my Sacrifice..  If my sacrifice is myself... I must purge it. Cleanse my thoughts, Change my thoughts. Purify my sacrifice.  Offer it up humbly before Him. Standing on the promises of His word.   Paying tithes and offerings are part of the process. But most precious is my praise. My un-motive-ated praise. Seeking and Praising Him only because I want to just be in His presence.  So, Slowly, I feel that God is revealing different measurements for my soul. Slowly I feel like within myself I am building a chamber that is for my Friend. And this time, using the measurements that God reveals, I will set my heart upon this mission. To build a Holy Chamber within my Heart for God to dwell. A strong Chamber that will be there for my King, regardless of what He may do for me or not do for me. I will make it my main objective  to praise him without expectations. Just because HE is worthy to be praised and I love Him.
\

When The Vultures Come

The Wilderness.  It is a hard place to be. I feel like I've been wandering for a long time. I want to get out. I want to cross over to my promised land.  I feel dried up...spiritually stagnant. Luke warm. I go to church....Sunday, I went to church...the sermon's, BOTH of the them, spoke directly to me. I attempted to seek the Lord....but felt as if there were a giant stone wall in my path. I just couldn't break through. Couldn't get that release in my spirit. Today I have been listening to a podcast of a sermon by Sis. Nona Freeman.  

 She talked about putting your sacrifice on the altar...Genesis 15.  As she was preaching.. I began wondering...What is my Sacrifice? What Does God require from me?  In Genesis, Abraham put an animal sacrifice on the altar....but it didn't stop there. He had to go a little further. After he found out what was required of him, decided that he was willing, and placed his sacrifice on the altar....he had to defend it. The vultures came... they came to destroy his sacrifice. To pick it apart.  He had to beat them off of his sacrifice.  In life...The Vultures come...so often I think we see them circling and we retreat and take cover.. we abandon ship so to speak...and our sacrifice...our precious sacrifice... ends up being picked and pulled and torn apart by the vultures.

vul·ture  (vlchr) n. 1. Any of various large birds of prey of the New World family Cathartidae or of the Old World family Accipitridae, characteristically having dark plumage and a featherless head and neck and generally feeding on carrion. 2. A person of a rapacious, predatory, or profiteering nature.               [from Old French voltour, from Latin vultur; perhaps related to Latin vellere to pluck, tear]

So Many times we pray..." Lord..I give you everything.. I put my all on the altar!"  and then we walk away. Think about that for a minute. Imagine that you have your most precious belongings...and you go to the store....would you leave your belongings sitting in the buggy for anyone to just come along and take? Living here in Baton Rouge... my belongings would be snatched up in less than a heart beat. You don't. You don't walk off and leave your things. You stay by them...you protect them. Why then.. would we abandon our most precious gifts and let the vulture come pick them apart? Why? These unclean animals have no right to even touch our gifts.  But everyday we let them... We listen to the things people say and it discourages us. We believe the things that people say and it destroys us. Little by little the devil picks and picks and picks at our sacrifices... Tells us that we aren't good enough, tears at our faith, plucks at our hope, and rips at our souls. And we do nothing.  We must fight the vultures off... for they will surely come.

 1 Corinthians 15:31 : I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily.

Now look at this definition of  Vulture:

n vulture [ˈvaltʃə]

a type of large bird of prey feeding chiefly on dead bodies.

It feeds on Dead bodies.  DEAD bodies. It feeds on our sacrifice. For we must die daily. We must daily submit to God.. we must daily crucify the flesh...and defend our sacrifice. Because the vultures will always circle and wait for the moment when we aren't alert. We must perpetually and vigilantly protect that which is sacred.  The aroma of our sacrifice ( OUR PRAISE and WORSHIP - OUR FAITH!) attracts the Vultures. They want to defile our promises....We must not let them.  We must beat them off... when they circle we must stand our ground and say "NO! NOT THIS TIME! YOU CANNOT HAVE MY SACRIFICE! IT IS FOR MY GOD, MY KING, MY SAVIOR  ALONE!" Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and Defend your Sacrifice! Defend your Offering. Defend your Joy, your Peace, Your Hope, Your Faith! I know that  The Vultures will come...but at the end of the day...They WILL leave hungry.

YOU CANNOT HAVE MY SACRIFICE!